


It's Only Love We're Falling In

by zeppx



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe, Cliche, Dean/Cas Big Bang Challenge 2011, F/M, M/M, Medical, Romantic Comedy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-05-21
Updated: 2013-03-04
Packaged: 2017-11-05 18:16:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 18,779
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/409493
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zeppx/pseuds/zeppx
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Human AU. Castiel is a nurse. Dean isn’t a very pleasant person. Castiel and Dean don’t get along at first, then, naturally, like in most romantic comedies, things happen. Like unwillingly falling in love.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This story is finished, I'm just choosing not to post it all at once. Cause I'm nice like that.
> 
> Also, to see the awesome art that goes with this story, please direct yourself [here](http://lomosnark.livejournal.com/15487.html).

" _Every time I see your face_  
 _My heart takes off on a high speed chase._  
 _Now don't be scared_  
 _It's only love that we're falling in_."  
Falling In – Lifehouse

* * *

There were nights that Castiel wondered what had made him choose nursing as his career path. He liked helping people sure, but it was an exhausting job and hardly anyone ever thanked him for the long hours and sleepless nights. He could have done anything he'd wanted, he could have been a lawyer like his older brother Raphael, or he could have just gone all the way and become a doctor like Michael.

Hell, he could be an artist like Rachel if he had really wanted to be.

Point was, he could have been anything he wanted and for some insane reason he'd chosen nursing. He hadn't even chosen a particularly interesting field of nursing either. He'd been in ICU to start with, but ICU was depressing. The patients for the most part were either dying or unconscious and they never said a word. Which was nice for the people who weren't quite so people friendly, like Castiel himself. ICU had always been dark and a little too quiet though; the feeling of death seemed to linger everywhere and followed you wherever you went.

After two years of that, he'd switched to the Medical-Surgical floor and he hadn't looked back since. Nights like tonight though, when he'd just come back from four days off and had a chart being waved around under his nose, made him wonder why he'd done it.

In the ICU, he'd been allowed three patients maximum, and he'd kept a constant and critical eye on them at all times. Here in Med/Surg, though, he was allowed up to five, on busy night's sometimes seven patients. Tonight was looking to be a seven patient night since one nurse had been allowed to go home early.

He really didn't want seven patients tonight.

"Please Cas?"

Castiel eyed the chart Jo was waving around under his nose and shook his head, "I'm already full Jo."

"So?" Castiel scowled up at the petite blonde and took a sip of his coffee, willing energy to flow directly from the cup and into his bloodstream. This was the last time he took four days off in a row; it really screwed with his biorhythms.

Anna chuckled from his right side while Ruby said from his left, "Give it up Jo, he's not going to do it."

" _Please_?" Jo leaned over the counter, tapping Castiel on top of his head with the chart, like being annoying would help him change his mind.

"Why me? Why not Anna… or Jess? Hell even Ruby could do it."

"Thanks for the vote of confidence Cas." Ruby grumbled, gathering her own charts and stalking off the down the hallway to check on her patients. Castiel watched her go for a moment before he turned his attention back to Jo.

"Because they've already taken all my other patients for the night. You're the only one who's yet to take one." Jo rested her chin on her folded arms and widened her eyes at Castiel, trying the whole puppy dog look on him, which never worked since Castiel had a heart of stone. At least according to everyone else. Castiel didn't really, he just pretended he did, made everything easier.

"So, best for last then?" Castiel asked, shooting Jo a charming smile as Jess threw herself into Ruby's vacated seat.

"More like hardest to convince." Jo muttered, glaring now. Castiel sighed and pulled the nights schedule down from the wall to examine it.

"Why don't you give the patient to Jess? She's only got four patients tonight. I've got six. Give me a break Jo; I'm just coming back from being off for four days."

"Because Jess has only been here three months! You've been here, what… eight years?"

"Ten years here, twelve years in nursing total. What's your point?"

"More experience? C'mon Cas, it's just one patient." Jo waved the chart around again.

"Jess can use the practice, plus I'm charge tonight, I've got too much shit to do. Leave me alone. Better yet, don't go home and just stay here and you know… _work_." Jo scoffed and went back to trying to give him the puppy dog look.

Castiel glanced over to Jess who looked ready to pass out on the desk, then over to Anna who was hiding her smile behind a hand while she worked. Castiel scowled, snatched the chart from Jo, pointed his pen at her and snapped, "I want coffee for a week. And red velvet cake. Not the cheap kind from Safeway either, I want the kind from Mollie Stone's!"

"But Mollie Stone's is more expensive!"

Castiel raised an eyebrow and held the chart out, "You can take this right back then."

" _Fine_." Castiel nodded, added the patient chart to his own and went back to examining the schedule for the week. "Why was everyone else so easy to convince anyway?"

"Girl's day at the beach." Jo said, grinning now that she no longer had any patients to attend to and could go home for the night. Castiel disliked her in that moment.

"So I don't get invited?"

" _Girl's_ day Cas."

"I'm _gay_."

" _Bi._ That means there are sufficient amounts of testosterone in your system to be considered an actual man." Ruby offered as she walked by the nurses' station. Castiel glared at her back and Jess giggled from where she had her head buried in her arms.

"I've been with more men than women." Castiel offered weakly.

"Doesn't matter." Castiel rolled his eyes at Jo, gathered up his charts and stood up, intending to go check on his patients for the night before settling himself down to make up the night shift schedule for the month.

Jo followed along as Castiel walked down the hallway, mentally tallying up how many days he'd be willing to work overtime so he would be able to afford the new car he'd bought over his time off. Which just proved he should never have so much time off since he went out and bought shit he didn't need in the first place.

"Fine Cas, you can come to the beach with us." Jo said as they came to a stop outside of Castiel's first patient's room. He eyed her for a moment. "No, no. It's too late now; my delicate sensibilities have already been damaged."

Jo rolled her eyes and Ruby called from a few doors down, "Does that mean you're going to go lock yourself in the little girl's room and cry? Make sure your mascara doesn't run before you come back out!"

"Bite me Ruby!"

"Ooh, nurses' station is catty tonight!" A familiar voice called from down the hall. Both Jo and Castiel groaned, Jo patted his arm and disappeared into the stairwell before Gabriel could keep her there.

Castiel, meanwhile turned to smile at the shorter doctor, "Evening Gabriel."

" _Doctor_ Gabriel."

"Whatever." Gabriel came to a stop in front of Castiel, worked open a Twix bar and asked around a mouthful, "Anything need my immediate attention?"

"Nope."

"Alright, I trust your judgment Cas. Page me if you need anything, I'll be sleeping like a baby!"

"Damn right you should trust my judgment! I've been here longer than you have!" Castiel shouted as Gabriel disappeared into the doctor's lounge. Castiel rolled his eyes, sighed and entered his patient's room.

Sadly, the patient was awake.

Castiel stole a quick glance at the chart for a name. "You should be sleeping Mr. Winchester."

Castiel was greeted with a snort, a hand that brushed floppy brown hair out of hazel eyes and a smile that was all dimples and white teeth, "Itches too much."

Castiel hummed and pulled the stethoscope from around his neck, "Well, it's normal. Do you want anything for it? I can bring you something that will help you sleep if you need it."

"Nah, I'm good. Just annoying is all."

"Well you should be out of here by tomorrow." Castiel was awarded with another dimply smile; if he had been a few years older, Castiel probably would have been interested. As it was though, he didn't want to feel like a cradle robber and instead went about checking the IV, drawing blood, checking blood pressure and the incision site.

"Everything good?" The patient, Sam as he'd told Cas to call him, asked.

"Yep. You need to sleep though. It'll help your recovery."

"I'll work on it." Sam shot him one last smile and returned to the book he'd been reading before Castiel had come in. Castiel jotted down his notes, flipped the chart shut and headed out of the room to go and check on his other patients.

* * *

Two hours later and Castiel was sitting back behind the nurses' station, it was only five hours into his twelve-hour shift and he was already dead on his feet. He seriously was never taking so much time off again.

"So, how's my favorite night shift crew?" Gabriel asked, appearing on the other side of the counter a few minutes after Castiel had settled.

Castiel liked Gabriel, the doctor was entertaining and he always had candy to hand out, which was a bonus in Castiel's book since he had a raging sweet tooth. In the three years Gabriel had been working here, they'd managed to become rather close friends. Actually, Gabriel was more like a brother to Castiel now that he thought about it, especially with how his own brothers tended to treat him.

Gabriel always had some helpful advice though, or an open ear if Castiel needed to talk. He also shared some great ways to prank his brothers whenever he returned home, and knew the proper times to take Castiel out to get good and drunk.

"Get me some coffee and I may give you a coherent sentence." Castiel mumbled, not bothering to lift his chin from where it was resting in his palm.

"Aw, poor Cassie, shoved back into the working world so cruelly." Castiel grunted, choosing to ignore Gabriel and continued browsing around on Craigslist for houses to rent since the lease was almost up on his apartment. He'd always wanted to live in a house; it was too expensive to buy in this part of California though so he'd have to settle for renting. He'd bought a new car so why not just finish changing everything?

He couldn't argue with that kind of logic in his exhausted state of mind.

Jess was sprawled over the desk next to him, sometimes showing interest in a house he clicked on but otherwise generally unconscious. She was the newest addition to the night shift, Castiel felt for her, he could remember his first few months on the night shift, it had been hell on his body until he'd properly adjusted to it. Now he found he rather preferred the night shift lifestyle to the day shift. It was… quieter, which he approved.

Anna and Ruby had been here for about four years while Jo had been around for three. They were all still for the most part, young and eager to make a difference.

Castiel sometimes felt incredibly old when around them and he was only thirty-six. He scowled at the computer screen in front of him, who was he kidding? Thirty-six was the new fifty-six. He was _old_ damnit. And what did he have to show for it? A small apartment, a cat and a new car he could barely afford.

Castiel heard Gabriel chuckle from above him and managed to grunt out his thanks when Gabriel pressed a Milky Way into his free hand before walking off.

When three am rolled around Castiel was trying to scrounge up the energy to get up and check on his patients again. He only had to last four more hours and he could go home to his bed and sleep until he had to come back and do it all over again.

"Castiel?" Castiel looked up from where he'd been contemplating stealing Ruby's pen since she was being bitchy tonight and it wrote better than his anyway.

"Oh, hello Ellen."

Ellen, Jo's mother and floor manager smiled at him as she approached, "Had a little mix up with the schedule and Sarah will be running a few hours late getting in this morning. Do you mind staying extra for a few hours to cover?"

Castiel hummed in thought and picked at a loose thread on his blue scrubs. He was exhausted but the extra money would be nice, especially if he was thinking about moving. Plus he'd bought that damn car (why had he bought it if he was so conflicted over it? Could he return it?) and if he wanted to move into a house…why had he bought that car? Especially for the amount he'd paid, sure, he'd been able to talk them down a little but _seriously,_ he was only a nurse here. Ugh…

Fingers snapped in front of his face, "Cas? Need an answer sweetie."

"Yeah, sure Ellen. Sorry."

She smiled, reached over and patted his shoulder, "Thanks hon. It'll only be until ten at the latest."

Castiel saluted with his own pen, then snatched up Ruby's and went off to get a fresh cup of coffee and to do his check-ins.

Behind him, when Ruby returned to her chair shouted, "Castiel! You damn pen thief! Get back here!"

* * *

At nine, a few minutes before clocking out for the day, Castiel found himself staring into angry green eyes as he tried to explain that he was just trying to do a quick check up. Sam's brother was having none of it though, was being stubborn and a general pain in Castiel's ass while he demanded answers. It was like he'd turned off his ears and refused to listen to a damn thing Castiel tried to say to him.

This was not how he wished to end his shift.

"Listen, I just want some answers before I let you grope my brother."

He would get his damn answers if he would just let Castiel do his _job_.

"I will gladly answer your questions after you let me check up on my patient. Soon as I finish that I'll be better able to tell you what's going on."

They stared at each other before those green eyes narrowed and arms crossed over his chest, "What kind of doctor are you anyway?"

Why did the handsome ones always have to be such jackasses? Castiel sighed and resisted the urge to roll his eyes. He didn't need this shit; he knew how the elder Winchester would react when learning that Castiel was a nurse. Male nurses were hardly ever taken seriously, since apparently nursing was a women's job and any man doing it was incapable of doing anything else. Or so Castiel had been told by other patients before.

"I'm not a doctor." Castiel said as he moved to step around the elder Winchester.

He found his path blocked once again, "No way I'm letting you touch my brother if you're not even a doctor!"

"I assure you I'm more than capable of-"

"I don't care! You're not touching my brother!" Castiel was nearing the end of his rope.

"Dean! Stop being such a jerk!" Sam moved until he was peering around 'Dean', he shot Castiel an apologetic smile and a shrug that said, _big brothers, what can you do?_

Stab them in the face with a sedative, that's what he could do.

"Shut up Sam!" Dean snapped his attention back to Castiel and asked, "So if you're not a doctor what the hell are you?"

Castiel sighed, shifted on his feet impatiently, "I'm a nurse."

Dean's eyebrows went up and he looked Castiel up and down, here it came, "So what good are you then?"

" _Dean_!"

Castiel sighed and rubbed his forehead, he was too tired for this and the urge to take off his stethoscope and either hit Dean on the head with it or strangle him was becoming harder to repress.

"Listen… Dean. I'm more than qualified to check your brother's vitals and change his dressing. He's been in my care for the last fourteen hours and he's still alive and in one piece. So, please, step aside and let me do my job so I can _go home_ or I will have security escort you out of the building."

Dean crossed his arms and glared, obviously not caring and daring Castiel to do it.

"Dean would you just let him do his job?" Sam muttered from behind his brother.

Castiel sighed and ultimately gave up, he just wanted his bed, "Listen, I'll leave a note for the doctor, but I believe he'll be in surgery soon and he won't be available until this afternoon."

The glare didn't let up so Castiel shrugged, "But if you want to wait that's fine but, I'll tell you now though he'll just have a nurse, or worse, an intern do what I'm trying to do. Believe me, you'd rather I do it."

Dean blinked but didn't move so Castiel shrugged, nodded a farewell to Sam and exited the room.

The familiar night shift crew had left a few hours earlier, leaving Castiel with the day shift people. He knew them all well enough since he'd worked the day shift a few times and they all saw each other at meetings and such; he just wasn't as well acquainted.

Didn't matter to Pamela though as she strutted up to him with a wink, "Don't see you around much hot stuff, our schedules don't collide much anymore." Castiel smiled over at her, she had been working here for about as long as Castiel had been so they got along well enough. Sometimes a little too well, the supply closet could tell a few tales…

She winked at him again before wandering off, Castiel handed over Sam's chart to Ava, "Unless you want to be chewed out for being a nurse, avoid room 208 until Gabriel's had a chance to be in there." Ava nodded and smiled and Castiel turned and leaned against the counter, waiting for Sarah to show up. He'd seen her run into the locker room when he'd been heading for Sam's room a few minutes ago.

"My ears were burning so I came to investigate before I head downstairs," Castiel looked up at Gabriel's voice and smiled as the shorter man leaned next to him, "Why are you still here Cas?"

"Just covering for Sarah. She should be out soon though and then I'm out of here." As soon as the words were out of his mouth Sarah was running around the corner and throwing herself into the nearest chair with a breathless, "I'm here!" Sarah had started around the same time as Jess and was just as adorable, he liked them both.

"So, Room 208 needs you in there soon if you get the chance." Castiel said, turning to face Gabriel.

"Why? That's your job, not mine." Gabriel popped a Snickers into his mouth and smiled obnoxiously up at Castiel.

"I know, but the patient's brother has a prejudice against nurses or something." Gabriel chuckled and Castiel looked up at the sound of someone clearing their throat. His gaze landed on Dean and Castiel raised his eyebrows, unimpressed with the glare Dean was shooting at him. He had no regrets for how he had treated Dean, even if his tone may have been a little harsher than needed.

"If you're looking for an apology, you're not going to get one from me." Dean shuffled in place a little, eyes falling to his feet while Gabriel grinned, "This 208?"

"The brother, yeah."

"Listen up bucko, Castiel is more than capable of doing his job. In fact, he makes most of my decisions for me if I'm busy elsewhere. I'm not going to take time out of my busy schedule to baby you and your brother just because you've got issues."

Castiel bit back a smile, patted Gabriel on the shoulder, "I'm out of here. My bed, air conditioning and black out curtains are calling me."

A chorus of, "See you Cas!" followed him as he headed for the locker room to grab his bag and get out of there.

When he exited the locker room and headed for the elevators Gabriel shouted, "Hey, when you come in tonight bring me some chocolate from the outside world! I'm sick of this vending machine crap!"

Castiel waved over his shoulder and stepped onto the elevator.

* * *

Down in the parking lot, staring at his new car, he was once again wondering what had prompted him to buy it and trying to ignore the annoying presence behind him that was Dean Winchester.

Finally, he turned and snapped, "Okay, _what_?"

"Uh?"

"Want to belittle my profession some more? Go ahead; give it your best shot! I've heard worse from my own family and from other patients. So go ahead, get it out of your system; can't be worse than the disappointment I get on a daily basis."

Dean blinked, shuffled in place and muttered, "I wanted to apologize."

"Oh." Well now, Castiel felt like an ass. Great.

"So yeah, I'm sorry. I'm just a bit…overprotective when it comes to my brother."

Castiel shrugged, "Well, like I said, I've heard worse."

Dean nodded and they fell into an awkward silence until Dean stepped forward so he was standing next to Castiel instead of behind him, "New car?"

Castiel turned his attention back to the dark grey Audi parked at the curb in front of him. It was a major upgrade from the beat up orange Beetle he'd been driving since high school and he'd always wanted a car like this ever since he'd seen one on TV.

_Top Gear_ reruns on BBC at two in the morning were dangerous, Castiel decided.

"Yeah," Castiel finally said.

"Buyers regret?"

"Like you wouldn't believe."

Dean snorted, "Little above your pay grade isn't it?" The man had to be stuck in jackass mode or something.

Castiel huffed and glared over at Dean, "I may be a nurse, but I do make more money than you do."

"You don't even know what I do, dude."

"You're a mechanic," at Dean's incredulous look Castiel added, "Sam told me."

"Of course he did."

Castiel shrugged, waved his keys in the air, "I'm gonna go now."

"Uh…yeah. See ya."

Castiel gave a halfhearted wave and slid into the car and took a moment to enjoy the leather seats and new car smell before heading off towards home.


	2. Chapter 2

By the time Castiel was unlocking the door to his apartment, he was hitting his second wind. Or maybe it was his third… possibly fourth. It was inconvenient, though, since he was finally home and should be heading straight to bed.

In the time it took Castiel to lock the door, hang up his bag and jacket there was an obnoxious black ball of fluff twining around his ankles, meowing loudly.

"I know I'm late for your breakfast, but do you have to be so obnoxious about it?" The cat meowed again and looked up at him with yellow eyes and proceeded to follow him into the kitchen, attempting to trip him every chance she got.

"Obnoxious, that's what you are, Lupe." There was a  _mrumpf_ sound from the vicinity of his ankles and he chuckled, bending down to give the cat a scratch under the chin, causing a purr to rumble up in place of the meows.

"I'll feed you in a sec." There was another  _mrumpf_ and the cat sat down by her bowl, tail flicking idly back and forth. Castiel didn't know if it was sad or not that his most meaningful and longest relationship was with his cat. He didn't care though; he loved the damn animal, no matter how annoying she was.

He pressed play on his blinking answering machine as he headed for the bathroom to brush his teeth and unload his screaming bladder. The first message was from Becky, asking if he would like to carpool to work tonight since they were both working. The second was from his eldest brother Michael, asking if Castiel was still alive and if he was could he please call their mother since she was beginning to worry. Their mother was probably the only reason why Michael had bothered with calling.

The third message started playing as Castiel returned to the kitchen. It was from his younger sister Rachel, asking him to please return her calls since it had been six months and hadn't he heard of forgiving and forgetting? The last message was from his mother herself, begging him to return her calls because she was worried and she missed him.

Castiel was the middle child of his family, but he was treated as the youngest. He had no idea why, but his mother had constantly doted on him and he was her favorite even though she claimed she had no favorites and loved them all equally. Maybe it was because both Michael and Rachel were capable of saying 'no' to her. He didn't know, he didn't care. He loved his mother; sometimes he just needed a small break.

Everyone else in the family was rather indifferent to his existence. Except Rachel, there were only four years difference in age between them and they'd been close growing up. Michael had been off at college by the time Castiel was old enough to even consider his older brother an actual role model of any kind. The adopted Raphael never had any issues voicing his dislike for Castiel, though, family get-togethers usually ended up in a fight of some kind between the two.

In any case, he didn't speak with Michael unless necessary. He didn't speak with Raphael at all and his father had stopped talking to him altogether when he'd announced his intent to go to nursing school instead of med school or law school. The disappointment had flowed in in even greater amounts when Castiel had announced he liked men as well as women.

Castiel didn't mind though. He had Rachel and his mother and Lupe and the people he worked with. He was okay with the arrangement, as long as he wasn't cut off from his family completely he could deal.

When he finished feeding Lupe, he wandered around his apartment, picking up a little. Books were returned to their shelves, pillows were fluffed and clean laundry was folded. After that he sat at his computer for a bit to check his email and play a game until he was tired enough to go and flop face first in his bed with a happy sigh.

Four hours later Castiel was awakened by the ringing of his cell phone. Since it was three in the afternoon and all his friends worked in the hospital with him he knew it had to be a family member finally wising up and calling his cell instead of the house phone. Which he usually kept on silent anyway, he probably would have gotten rid of the damn thing, but it proved useful in the constant fight of ignoring his family members.

Castiel groped around the bed for his phone without opening his eyes. He found the cord that attached to the charger and followed it to his insistently buzzing phone and answered with a snapped, " _What_?"

"I don't talk to you for six months and when I finally  _do_  get a hold of you all I get is a 'what'?"

Castiel sighed, opened his eyes and rolled onto his back, ignoring the annoyed meow Lupe let out when she was forced to relocate.

"Hello, Rachel."

"Seriously Cas, six months?"

Castiel grunted, rubbed a hand over his face and mumbled, "Well, how would you react if your little sister slept with your boyfriend and ended up pregnant as a result?"

There was a hesitation on the other end of the line, which had Castiel feeling a bit like celebrating before Rachel finally said, "Okay, so maybe I deserved that."

Castiel snorted. So maybe he was still a little  _bitter_.

"C'mon Cas, you're my big brother and my best friend all rolled into one big cuddly, sweet package."

"I don't cuddle." A clear lie since Castiel enjoyed nothing more than cuddling; he'd woken up on more than one occasion wrapped around his pillow. "And I'm not sweet." A half-lie: Castiel, if fed enough sweets, would be happy to be your best friend without sarcasm interrupting anything. Probably why he was such good friends with Gabriel, since Gabriel was constantly feeding him candy. He may have to investigate his reasons for staying friends with Gabriel.

"Mom thought you'd died."

"I'll call her on my next day off." Maybe. His next day off, he was going to the beach, invited or not. He could do with a day lying in the warm sand in front of the Pacific and ogle the surfer boys while he pretended to nap behind his sunglasses.

"Can I come over Cas? Please? I miss you."

Castiel sighed and rolled onto his side. Despite any lingering bitterness he did love his sister. Plus he knew she wasn't the first person Balthazar had slept around with. Castiel had known he wasn't the type of man to settle down, no matter how much Castiel wished for it.

The sex had always been fantastic though. But there were times Balthazar had come home smelling like two different kinds of perfume or like a bar, so Castiel knew and it didn't bother him as much as he thought it would.

What  _really_ bothered him though, thinking about it now, was the fact that Balthazar had had the nerve to knock up his sister and then escape to Europe without a single word to either of them. Castiel would probably go into a murderous rage if he ever saw Balthazar again.

That decided he said, "Fine, come over. But I worked last night and I work tonight, so be quiet."

"See you soon!" Rachel sounded much like her old self as she hung up, full of energy and willing to please. Castiel flung his phone away, closed his eyes and hauled the blanket up over his head, where Lupe was under the blanket, shooting him a baleful glare.

"Don't look at me like that. Heathen." Lupe meowed, head-butted him, took over his pillow and fell asleep with a contented purr.

How Castiel wished he could be a cat sometimes. They never gave a shit.

Forty minutes later, Rachel was crawling into bed with him with a smile on her face. After not seeing her for six months it was odd seeing her with a slightly swollen belly instead of flatness. He eyed it for a moment before rolling onto his back and lifting an arm. Rachel fit herself to his side and rested her head on his shoulder with a happy sigh.

"Thanks Cas."

"Shut up and take a nap. Naps are good for pregnant people."

"This is why I need you in my life."

"Didn't I just tell you to shut up?" Rachel chuckled, but thankfully she did shut up and Castiel drifted off again.

After taking his shower, alerting Becky that he would pick her up around six, and changing into fresh scrubs, Castiel wandered out into the kitchen to find a fresh cup of coffee waiting for him.

Maybe he could forgive his sister fully for pulling off that kind of bribery.

"You been taking vitamins?" Castiel asked after taking his first sip of the life-giving brew.

"No."

"Have you at least read a baby book?"

Rachel fidgeted in place, "No?"

Castiel sighed and headed into his living room to search his bookshelves. He knew he had one from when he'd still been working in the ICU. He'd had a pregnant patient and he'd used the book to do a little research. He'd forgotten to return it, so now it had a permanent residence amongst all his other books.

He found the book, returned to the kitchen, tossed it on the counter in front of her and went back to drinking his coffee, wondering if he should make himself a sandwich before heading off to pick Becky up or not.

"Pick up some pre-natal vitamins next time you're in the grocery store. I'll make you an appointment with the OB-GYN tonight while I'm at work."

Rachel shot him a grateful smile while she picked up the book from the counter, "Thanks Cassie."

Castiel pointed a finger at her, "Call me that at your own peril. I need to leave, I'm carpooling. Stay as long as you want long as you feed my cat."

Rachel nodded with a grin and Castiel rolled his eyes and planted a kiss on her cheek before letting himself out of his apartment.

* * *

Becky, despite how she was always perky and happy, was one of Castiel's closer friends. It was a shock to him, since infinitely perky and happy people always seemed to get on his nerves, even though she was an acquired taste, he was quite fond of her now. Even if she had shown too much interest in his and Balthazar's relationship and was always talking to the radiologist Chuck about it. For whatever reason, Castiel was happy not knowing.

Becky was always a welcome distraction though, especially when she was glaring at Dean Winchester like it was his fault Castiel and Balthazar had broken up.

Castiel was just perplexed.

"What are you doing here?" Castiel finally asked after a few minutes of awkward staring.

"Um," Dean held out a coffee cup and shifted on his feet, "Brought you some coffee."

Castiel held out his own cup of coffee, compliments of Becky, who looked entirely too smug about that fact.

"Oh, well… Want it anyway?" Castiel frowned at Dean, then shrugged and drained the last out of his current cup and took the still warm one from Dean's hand. It was Dean's turn to look pleased while Becky scowled at him.

"It's, um, apology coffee?" Dean offered as Castiel tossed his empty cup into the trash and took a sip from his new one.

Castiel shrugged as he walked past Dean towards the hospital entrance, "I didn't lose any sleep over it."

"Didn't expect you to," Dean grumbled, following Becky and Castiel.

Castiel grunted and they stopped in front of the elevators. Castiel eyed Dean from the corner of his eye and asked, "Why are you here anyway? Thought your brother was getting discharged today."

"Was about an hour ago. Just waiting for him to finish getting dressed and for the paperwork."

"Ah."

"Any way you can speed up that process?" Castiel rolled his eyes and stepped into the elevator when the doors dinged open.

"Nope, I'm not on shift for another fifteen minutes. Not really a way to rush it anyway." The three stood in silence as the elevator slowly made its way up. Becky was standing between the two men, dwarfed by their height and frowning up at Castiel. Castiel knew he'd be on the end of her questioning later.

Castiel resisted rolling his eyes at her; he and Balthazar would never get back together, and they weren't the world's best couple either, despite her convictions.

A few minutes later, Castiel was leaning against the nurses' station half listening to the day shift getting everything ready for the night shift. Becky was having an intense conversation with Ava about something and Castiel watched with interest as Jess arrived and paused outside of Sam Winchester's room. She fidgeted, blushed a brilliant red color and practically ran down the hallway towards Castiel and the other nurses.

With a smile, Castiel wandered down the hallway and into Sam's room. Sam greeted him with a smile and a warm, "Hey Cas."

"Hello Sam, how are you doing?"

"Good. Glad to be out of here, no offense or anything."

"None taken." Castiel had never really understood why people always said 'no offense', why bother saying something that someone could take as offensive? Or why bother padding the truth? People needed to hear the truth, not small little lies, the world could be much simpler if people weren't constantly lying to each other.

"Something you need?" Castiel looked over his shoulder to see Dean exiting the bathroom behind him.

"Dean would you quit being such a dick?"

Dean shrugged, "Just a question."

"Actually I did have a question for Sam." Sam turned from packing up his bag to look over at Castiel, another warm smile on his face. Castiel liked Sam; through the few conversations he'd had, he'd learned that Sam was smart and in college for his law degree. He could easily see himself befriending Sam if they were ever to meet outside of the hospital.

That wasn't Castiel's goal right now though.

"A bunch of us are going the beach this Friday, just to hang out and have a good time. You're welcome to join us if you want."

Sam blinked, "Oh… um…"

"What Sam is trying to say is he's not gay. So he's not interested," Dean snapped, glaring at Castiel when Castiel turned to look at him again.

Castiel rolled his eyes at Dean which earned him an annoyed huff. Castiel turned his attention back to Sam, "I'm fully aware of that Dean. Plus, your brother is a little young for my tastes. I'm asking because Jess is going to be there and she's too infatuated with your brother to ask him herself."

Well, he assumed that was it anyway. The last time he'd played matchmaker for a co-worker, it hadn't worked out so well. For them anyway. Castiel had enjoyed that sexual encounter a little too much.

The way Sam blushed, though, let Castiel know he'd been somewhat correct in his assumptions. There was some interest there that Castiel could play with.

"Sure, I'd love to go." Sam finally said, turning away from Castiel to finish his packing. Castiel didn't miss Sam's small smile, though.

Castiel grinned, "Excellent." He paused and looked over at Dean, "You're welcome to come too, if you like. And don't bother warning me off; your innocence is safe from me. I don't date assholes." Dean gaped and Sam let out a laugh.

With that completed, he left the room to clock in, enjoying the still-shocked look on Dean's face.

Castiel couldn't help but wonder where his 'I don't date assholes' line had come from, though. He had on occasion dated an asshole.

There had been Crowley a few years ago. He had been a smarmy, manipulative bastard with expensive tastes. Then there was Balthazar who had just been a whore, also with expensive tastes, now that Castiel thought about it. There had been his various flings with the jocks in college, the occasional one nightstand found in seedy bars, and his 'friends with benefits' stage with Pam.

Castiel sighed and tried to turn his attention back to his charts, trying not to agree with Raphael. He'd said during their last encounter that Castiel had a knack for spreading his legs for men who were bigger and dumber than Castiel. He couldn't help it that he had a type. Couldn't help that he enjoyed being held down or overpowered; it was a weakness…so what?

He needed to get laid. It'd been too long.

Castiel was knocked from his musings when Ruby snapped her fingers in front of his face and snapped, "I want my pen back, you son of a bitch."

Castiel shot her his wide-eyed innocent look, "I don't know what you're talking about."

She didn't buy his look judging by the glare she shot him, "I know you have it."

"I don't." He really didn't, he'd forgotten it at home. A shame, since it was a nice pen. Ruby continued to glare; Castiel shrugged at her and went back to his charting with a smile.


	3. Chapter 3

Friday came in a whirl of warm sunshine, a slight breeze, and multitudes of alcohol being purchased. Rachel had gushed over his car, letting him know it was much cooler than Raphael's Mercedes, which Castiel would gladly rub in his elder brothers face next they met.

He'd enjoyed the drive along Highway 1, not just because Becky was in the backseat regaling Dean with all the joys of gay sex, but because the engine was purring and the car hugged all the curves of the road beautifully, leaving Ruby in the dust in her crappy car.

Now he was stretched out on the warm sand in nothing but his board shorts and sunglasses. Rachel had her head resting on his stomach while she read through the baby book Castiel had given to her. Becky was on his other side, reading her own book and Castiel was going about his plan pretending to nap while he watched all the young college students bound around on the beach in nothing but their bathing suits.

Jess and Sam had hit it off and were currently talking about  _something_  under the umbrella behind Castiel. Ruby had taken off to flirt with one of the volleyball players, Dean was currently flirting with Anna, but Castiel occasionally caught the looks Dean was shooting in his direction.

Man had some serious repression going on. Not that Castiel cared; Dean was set in his straight ways. Plus he was an ass and apparently Castiel got on his nerves, which was a shame since Dean would be more than capable of holding Castiel down and-

"It's such a waste that you're gay." Castiel snapped out of his daydream, lifted his sunglasses up to glare at Ruby as she plopped down in the sand by his head.

"Bi."

"You've done more guys than women. That makes you gay. It's such a waste 'cause I'd totally do you."

Castiel dropped his sunglasses back down and rolled his eyes, "I'm sorry for your loss."

Ruby was probably the last person he'd ever have sex with, no matter how desperate Castiel got. They weren't exactly enemies, but their friendship was based more on pissing each other off than anything else. And since they were currently the only ones not drinking since they had to go into work at eleven that night, they could only pick at each other. Which was nothing new.

Later in the afternoon, Castiel was sitting down near the waterline, contemplating the surfer that had been eyeing him for a few minutes now. He was probably a little young, but he had a camper up in the parking lot and Castiel was feeling a little horny after spending the day ogling the suntanned skin of the co-eds all day.

The next wave brushed up over Castiel's legs, bathing him in the cool water of the Pacific. It felt good after sitting in the hot sun all day.

A shadow fell across the sand beside Castiel and he glanced up to see who. He was mildly shocked to see it was Dean. Dean hesitated, then held out a bottle of water which Castiel accepted as Dean settled into the sand beside Castiel.

Castiel eyed him for a moment before cracking open the bottle and taking a sip. Dean did the same to his own bottle and said, "So uh… hi?"

Castiel felt his eyebrows rise; from what he had observed of Dean, Dean wasn't one to be hesitant, especially towards Castiel. He was full of ire and disdain about  _something_  Castiel had done, unless it was all that repression Dean was harboring. Castiel smirked to himself, took another sip of water, capped it, and leaned back on his hands and stretched his legs out, curling his toes into the sand.

Dean watched him for a moment before sighing, "Okay, I am sorry about being such a jackass. I just… when Sammy gets hurt nothing else matters. I also suck with this talking-about-your-feelings shit, so… I'm just… I'm sorry okay? You seem like an okay guy."

Castiel refrained from rolling his eyes, he could tell behind the stumbling over his words and derisive tone that Dean was being as sincere as he possibly could.

So Castiel nodded his thanks, tilted his water bottle in a mock salute, "You don't seem so bad yourself."

"Thanks. Plus, anyone that can help Sam get laid is good in my book." Castiel smiled over at Dean and then glanced over his shoulder to where Sam and Jess were still deep in conversation.

"They're getting along well." Castiel observed, turning back to face the ocean. Dean hummed his agreement and the two watched the sun sink closer and closer to the horizon. Castiel wished he could stay and watch the sun set, but he needed to be home soon so he could get in a nap before his shift started for the night.

After another few minutes of sitting in silence, Dean and Castiel stood, brushed the sand from where it wasn't clinging to their wet legs and wandered back over to the main group to begin packing. Ruby gave Castiel a knowing look when he allowed his eyes to wander down the length of Dean's back and linger on the curve of his ass and lines of his legs where his shorts were clinging. He flipped her off, turned his back on Dean to pull on his own shirt and shoes, toweling off as much sand as possible as they trekked back to the cars.

He dropped Sam and Dean off last, the two of them riding in his car since their place was apparently on the way to his. Sam leaned into the front from the backseat and offered Castiel a piece of paper with a number on it, "Thanks Cas, it was a good day. Call me and we can get coffee or something," Castiel raised an eyebrow at the younger Winchester and Sam hastened to add, "As friends! You're a nice guy, we get along and I want to pay you back for getting me and Jess together."

Castiel chuckled, accepted the number, "Of course Sam. You don't need to pay me back though. Jess is sweet, and she's a friend of mine; I like to see her happy."

"Either way. Just… we'll chat or something."

"Okay." Sam sighed, nodded and let himself out of the car. Dean chuckled from beside him in the passenger seat and took Castiel's cell phone from where it had been sitting in the cup holder. He punched in his own number, "Same goes for me, we can get a beer or something. Like I said at the beach, you're a nice guy when you're not being a douche."

"I'm a nice guy when  _you're_  not being the douche."

Dean laughed, put the phone back, "Whatever man. Call me if you ever want to get a beer. As friends though; I'm not gay."

Castiel held up his hands in surrender, "I get it. Winchester men are off limits."

Dean nodded and shot him a smile that had Castiel's toes curling in his shoes, "See you around, Cas." He let himself out of the car and disappeared into the apartment building after his brother. Castiel let out a breath and gripped the gearshift and steering wheel in his hands before shifting the car into gear to head home.

Fucking Winchester men and their fucking _smiles_.

* * *

Castiel didn't expect to see Dean again so soon. It was only a short three days before Dean and his obnoxious ways were once again in his life.

Castiel sat in his car at the edge of the road, engine ticking quietly as it cooled. He had been heading home after lunch with his mother finally. The drive wasn't a quick one, and, in his haste to get away from his mother's questions, he'd left as soon as possible and hadn't paid any attention to his gas gauge.

So now he was sitting on the side of the road, car quiet, sun sinking into the horizon and the next town miles down the road.

Castiel banged his head against the steering wheel, silently cursing his stupidity.

After wallowing for a few minutes, he hunted out his cell phone, checked to make sure he had a signal, and contemplated on who to call. Gabriel was working tonight, so he was unavailable. Rachel would just laugh at him and hang up. There was AAA, but his membership had expired a few months before and his insurance agency was a hassle to deal with on any good day.

Castiel scrolled through his contacts and hesitated when he came to Dean's name. Dean who was a stubborn ass and who Castiel was silently harboring a small crush on. He  _was_ a mechanic though, even if all that Castiel had done was run out of gas. Castiel grunted to himself and continued scrolling through his contacts list, he'd rather not deal with Dean right now.

Instead he called Sam.

Who ended up sending Dean.

Castiel couldn't help but groan unhappily when he spotted Dean approaching from the tow truck that had pulled up behind his car. Of course it would be Dean.

Dean knocked on his window, that stupid cocky smile of his in place. Castiel sighed and opened the door when Dean stepped out of the way, that stupid grin was still in place and Castiel just wanted to smack it off.

"I thought you were smart enough to not run out of gas in the middle of nowhere."

Castiel scoffed and folded his arms over his chest, "I was distracted."

"Uh-huh. Well c'mon, let's go get you some gas."

"You didn't bring any with you?"

Dean snorted and watched as Castiel turned to retrieve his keys and phone from inside the car, "Please. I'm not going to pay for it, prices are crap lately."

Castiel hummed his agreement, locked the car and followed Dean to the truck that was idling behind the Audi. They settled into the cab silently, Dean focusing on driving while Castiel stared out the window, trying to keep himself from staring at Dean. He may have disliked Dean and purposefully got on the other man's nerves sometimes, but Dean was handsome and Castiel wouldn't mind drinking in the sight of him more often.

They were about a mile down the road when Dean finally spoke, "So what brought you out to the middle of nowhere?"

"Lunch with my mother."

"You were so desperate to get away from your mom that you forgot to get gas?"

Castiel huffed a laugh, "Pretty much."

They were silent for another mile before Dean blurted, "My mom died when Sam was a baby. I hardly remember her."

What the hell was Castiel supposed to say to  _that_? He turned so he could properly look at Dean, who looked shocked to have blurted out such a statement, and opened his mouth to comment but decided against it. Anything he could say right now would probably make him look like an asshole.

The tension grew in the cab and Castiel finally offered, "I'm sure your mother was a wonderful woman."

"Uh, thanks. What's so bad about your mom?"

Castiel snorted and looked out the window, where to even begin?

"I love my mother, she's just... overbearing? She treats me as if I'm the youngest and unable to care for myself. I can never seem to be able to say 'no' to her either. If she had her way, I'd still be living at home and crawling into bed with her in the middle of the night after a nightmare."

Dean chuckled and pulled into the parking lot of a gas station.

"Guess you don't have a gas can, huh?" Dean asked after Castiel had let himself out of the truck.

He shot Dean a look, "Does it  _look_ like I have a gas can?"

"Don't get your panties in a twist, I have one you can borrow."

Castiel's retort was cut off when the red can was shoved into his chest, he glared at Dean and headed for one of the pumps, pulling his wallet and card out as he went.

Castiel paid, made his selection and bent to open the gas can to begin filling it with the few gallons of gas that would enable him to get his car here. Perhaps he should have just had Dean hook it up to the tow truck and tow it here. He would have had to pay for that for sure, though.

Out of curiosity, Castiel turned to look over his shoulder to ask Dean how much a tow would have cost, only to stop. Dean's head was tilted to the left, lower lip caught between his teeth. And he was staring.

The only thing he could possibly be looking at like that was Castiel's ass.

Awkward.

Castiel turned his attention back to the gas can, found it filled up and straightened to replace the nozzle. He heard Dean cough behind him and Castiel couldn't help but smile. At least he wasn't the only one who liked to look.

Back in the truck, gas can secured in the back, Castiel asked, "So why did Sam send you?"

"Said he had to study." There was something in Dean's tone that had Castiel frowning, he could tell something was being held back, but he had no idea what.

"I see."

"He did!"

"Okay."

"What?"

Castiel turned to Dean, eyebrows raised, "I didn't say anything."

"You clearly don't believe me."

"I said no such thing."

"The tone of your voice says it all."

Castiel snorted, trying to reign in his laughter. He couldn't tell if they were flirting, fighting or some odd combination of the two.

"Seriously! The way you were talking-"

"Oh for Christ's sake Dean, just drop it!" Castiel shouted, trying not to burst into undignified giggling. Of all the things Dean could get caught up on.

They were silent for a few minutes before Dean snorted and grumbled, "That was probably the stupidest fight to get into."

Castiel couldn't contain himself anymore, he  _finally_  burst out with his laughter, leaning forward with his arms wrapped around his middle. Dean chuckled from beside him and shook his head, "You've got the dorkiest sounding laugh, dude."

For some reason this only made Castiel laugh harder.

"I think the gas fumes got to you."

When Castiel finally gained some semblance of control they were parked behind his car once more. Castiel wiped at his eyes and turned to Dean who was giving him a smile that almost looked fond.

"Thank you for that. I think I needed it."

Dean's smile widened, "No problem."

"And thank you for taking me to get gas. I know this was probably out of your way."

Dean shrugged, "Had nothing better to do than sit around watching the game and drinking beer."

"Well, thank you anyway." Dean nodded and Castiel opened the door and hopped out. He retrieved the gas can and filled his car up, replaced the can back on the tow truck and let himself into his car, hoping that it would start and remain running long enough to get him to the gas station.

Dean followed him as far as the gas station, giving a honk as he passed.

Castiel sighed and simply sat in his car for a moment, forehead resting against the steering wheel. Once again, Dean Winchester had thrown him for a loop and was slowly worming himself into Castiel's life and mind.

Castiel thunked his head against the steering wheel and muttered, "Fucking Winchesters."

Two weeks later and Castiel was sitting behind the nurses' station again. He was paying attention to his phone this time around though, playing a round of  _Words With Friends_ with Sam. The two of them had met up twice: once for coffee where they ended up talking about books of all things, the second time had been at the college when Castiel had gone to hunt up information on how he could go about getting his Master's degree and what it would do for his career. Sam had been there with Jess and they'd ended up chatting for a few hours about their respective degrees.

Castiel liked Sam; he was smart and easy to get along with. He was also Castiel's first friend that didn't work in the damn hospital, which was a little weird, but nice. Made Castiel feel not quite so pathetic when he thought about his social life.

Thankfully, he hadn't met up with Dean yet, not since the gas incident anyway, which he was glad for. Castiel couldn't handle Dean right now. Not with how he looked, and how he acted and pretty much just everything in general.

They had texted quite a bit though, which was nice. Kept him company on the slow nights at work and when he was busy at home doing absolutely  _nothing_.

His phone buzzed in his hand and he glanced down at it, expecting it to be his turn against Sam, instead it was a text from Dean asking,  _u workin?_

_Yes, I'm allowed to go home at eleven though_. Which was only in thirty minutes. Castiel was silently rejoicing and doing a damn fine job of looking busy so that Ellen wouldn't change her mind and keep him here for the night in retaliation.

_Wanna meet 4 drinks?_

Castiel frowned at his phone; surely Dean had people who didn't annoy him to go out and have drinks with. With a shrug, he responded with an affirmative and they agreed to meet at one of the bars that were halfway between the hospital and the town they both lived further up north.

Forty-five minutes later Castiel was pulling into the parking lot of the bar. His eyes landed immediately on Dean who was leaning back against a black behemoth of a car, patiently awaiting Castiel's arrival.

Castiel pulled into the spot next to Dean's car and hauled himself out of the car. Dean eyed him then asked, "Seriously? You're going into a bar in your scrubs?"

Castiel looked down at the black scrubs he'd donned earlier that evening and shrugged, "I didn't bring a change with me since I didn't plan on going out afterwards. Plus it gets me free drinks sometimes."

Dean jerked his chin at Castiel's chest, "That get you free drinks too?"

Castiel glanced down again with a frown, if Dean was so annoyed with his scrubs he could just turn around and go home or go in without him, Castiel didn't care. Wasn't like they were best friends or anything. Castiel pulled the RN badge and his hospital ID off from where they were clipped to his chest. "No, but they do get me out of tickets if I get pulled over when I'm driving home."

He turned back towards his car and tossed them into the passenger seat before locking the car again and following Dean towards the bar entrance.

"Seriously?"

"Cops don't give the nurses tickets, they know better."

"I don't believe you." Castiel shrugged and nodded his thanks when Dean held the door open and stepped into the bar. It was a nicer bar than the ones he would usually go into; nicer than the ones he imagined Dean going into as well, so it wasn't as loud as it could have been. The lighting was dim and intimate and most people were dressed up, mostly businessmen and women on their way home from work.

"Well, nurses are the ones who take care of the cops when they come into the hospital. We're more important than the doctors, usually; we do more. You really don't wanna piss off your nurse."

Their conversation was put on hold while they ordered their drinks, Dean shot Castiel a glare when, sure enough, the bartender gave him his beer for free. Castiel smirked at him and they headed off to one of the few open tables in the back near the windows.

"You wouldn't give someone crappy treatment just 'cause they gave you a ticket though, would you?"

"Of course not. But they don't need to know that."

Dean snorted and sipped his beer, they fell into a semi-awkward silence, both sipping their beers and watching the people around them.

"I would have figured you for someone who would buy a hybrid or some shit like that." Castiel startled out of watching a group of college students playing pool and turned back to Dean with a slight frown.

"What?"

"Your new car. Figured you would have bought a hybrid instead of a sports car."

Castiel snorted and shrugged, "Hybrids are nice I guess. They're not really solving the problem though. Sure, they use less gas, but they still use gas so they're just hiding the issue. I'd rather wait for an electric, or one of those hydrogen-fueled cars. I don't think my car would have lasted that long though, so I needed something new and why not something fun?"

Dean shrugged and smiled around his beer bottle.

"Plus, I'd rather not drive something that looks like a giant suppository," Castiel added, smirking when Dean's beer went spraying across the table.

"I'll never look at a Prius the same way," Dean muttered. Castiel grinned at him and saluted him with his drink before finishing it off.

A few hours later, the two of them were sitting on a bench outside of the bar. It may have been mid-July and the day may have been warm, but the fog had rolled in from the bay and the night was cool. It was nice, though, so Castiel didn't mind the occasional shiver whenever a slight breeze blew.

Dean was relaxed beside him, head tilted back to watch the fog moving above them. Neither of them had had more than two beers since they still needed to drive home, but Castiel, for some reason, wasn't quite ready to leave Dean's side, and Dean seemed reluctant to leave his.

"So why did you call me out for drinks?" Castiel blurted a few minutes later.

"Why wouldn't I?"

Castiel held up a hand to count off the reasons, "I'm gay, I annoy you and I'm sure you have plenty of other people willing to go out with you."

"I don't have anything against gay guys."

Castiel raised an eyebrow, expressing his disbelief.

"Seriously, I don't. You're just a bit of a dick is all."

Castiel snorted. "I'm a  _peach_ to be around. You're just a bit of a douche. It's how I respond to douchiness; by being a dick."

Dean snorted from beside him, "Whatever. Despite your occasional dickishness, I think you're an interesting person and, for some reason, I want to get to know you. Plus, believe it or not, I don't actually have a lot of friends."

"Must be the douche in you."

Castiel grinned innocently at the glare Dean shot him.

Another few minutes passed before Dean was clapping a hand down on his thigh, "I need to get home. I have to get up early for work in the morning." Castiel nodded and pulled himself up to his feet. He was ready to go home, pass out and sleep in since he had tomorrow off. He was pretty sure Gabriel had the day off tomorrow too, maybe he'd finally call his friend and they'd could go out and do something.

Like get Castiel laid.

"We should do this again. Next time I'll help you pick up a chick." It was Dean's turn to raise an incredulous brow at Castiel.

"I don't need help picking up chicks, dude."

"Help picking out someone who isn't a complete slut, I mean. Haven't you heard? Having a gay friend makes it easy to pick girls up. Or guys, depending on your gender."

Dean snorted and shook his head while he pulled his keys from his pocket, muttering something under his breath that sounded a lot like, "Fucking California."

Castiel snickered, pulled out his own keys and waved his goodbye to Dean as he slid into the driver's seat. Dean waited until Castiel had started up the car and was beginning to pull out before following him; apparently, Dean was the type to follow Castiel to make sure he got home okay.

The thought brought a smile to Castiel's face and he shook his head.

Much to his dismay Dean was growing on him. He wanted more from Dean, a something more that he would never be able to get or have.

That thought knocked the smile right off of Castiel's face.


	4. Chapter 4

Unfortunately, Castiel was unable to go out with Gabriel the next night. Ellen had called while Castiel had happily been having a dream that included Dean, chocolate sauce, and red velvet cake.

So Castiel wasn't in the best of moods when he dragged himself into work for the day shift. He hated the day shift; patients were usually awake during the day and required you to talk to them and handle the family. Ellen had said they were short though, and since Castiel had gotten off early the night before, he was the one called in.

Castiel was returning from a run down to the cafeteria to retrieve coffee for himself when he passed by the waiting room. Generally he didn't pay much attention to the people in the waiting rooms, dealing with the patient's family usually fell to the doctors, but there was a familiar figure pacing back and forth in the room.

Castiel backtracked and paused in the doorway, watching Dean pace for a moment, "Dean?"

Dean jumped then spun around, "Cas! Thank fuck, I've been going insane here!"

"Um."

"Tell me you know what's going on." Castiel simply shook his head while Dean frowned.

"Wait, what are you even doing here? I thought you worked the night shift."

Castiel took a sip of his coffee and nodded, "I do, but the day shift was short staffed and I was called in. Are you going to tell me what brought you here?"

"Right. Uh, accident at work. Bobby, my boss... Well, let's just say he broke his leg. Not pretty. They took him into surgery and told me to wait here. I haven't heard anything since and no one will tell me a damn thing."

Castiel hummed, turned and headed down the hallway, motioning for Dean to follow him. After a brief hesitation Dean rushed to follow after him, "They told me not to leave the waiting room, are you sure it's okay for me to be here?"

Castiel sat himself down behind the nurses' station, set his coffee aside and looked over the patient assignments he'd handed out earlier in the morning, "You're fine. What's his name?"

"Bobby Singer." Dean leaned against the counter, watching as Castiel turned and propelled his chair to the other end of the station, searching out the proper chart. With the chart in hand Castiel turned and pushed himself back to where Dean was waiting.

Castiel quickly flipped through the chart, "He was brought up from post-op not too long ago. Everything went fine in surgery, but no one's been in to see him yet, so there's not much."

"Better than what I was getting. Thanks, Cas."

Castiel smiled up at Dean, "I'll switch some patients around so I can be the one keeping an eye on him for you."

"Cas, you don't have to-"

"Just say 'thank you' Dean." Dean grunted at him and crossed his arms. Castiel grinned, stood and headed down the hallway towards Bobby's room, "Come on, you can come in to see him with me. I don't think he'll be awake though."

"Cas, really. I don't want to get you in trouble."

"You won't get me in trouble, Dean. I promise."

They were a few doors down from Bobby's room when Castiel heard shouting, a clatter, and Jake, one of the orderlies, came rushing out of the room, cursing under his breath. He stopped when he spotted Castiel, "Oh good.  _You_ can deal with him."

Castiel watched as Jake hurried down the hall then turned to Dean, "That sounds ominous."

"Bobby isn't too fond of hospitals."

Castiel sighed, "Perfect." Castiel entered the room, plastering on his brightest smile, "Good morning, Mr. Singer. How are you doing?"

The older man glared and crossed his arms over his chest, "You really gotta ask me that? Idjit."

Dean chuckled and stepped around Castiel, "Be nice Bobby, he's only doing his job."

"Well he can get on  _doing his job_  and give me some more painkillers."

Castiel flipped the chart open, took a moment to decipher Gabriel's messy handwriting, "You're not due for more morphine for another two hours, Mr. Singer."

Bobby snorted and glared, "I'm in pain  _now_  damnit."

"On a-"

"If you ask me to rate my pain on a scale of one to ten, I will hit you with my bedpan. It won't be clean either."

Castiel sighed and ignored Dean's snickering from the other side of Bobby's bed, "I'll ask your doctor, then, if we can give you a higher dose."

Castiel turned to the phone so he could page Gabriel; he needed the permission but he also didn't want to deal with Bobby alone today. Gabriel could suffer with him.

While they waited for Gabriel, Castiel went about doing his other duties and noting them down for Gabriel. Castiel is aware of Dean watching him while he works; he's not entirely sure what to make of it and, for now, ignores it.

Bobby allows himself to be poked and prodded with minimal grumbling and the occasional  _idjit_ tossed in Castiel's direction. Castiel had the feeling that if Dean weren't in the room Bobby wouldn't be so cooperative.

Gabriel, thankfully, entered the room just as Castiel was finishing his exam. He came to stand by Castiel, snagging the chart from Castiel's hands, "What's the verdict?"

"He wants more pain medication." Gabriel hummed, looking over Castiel's notes before turning to look at Bobby.

When Bobby simply glared at them in response Gabriel moved down to examine Bobby's leg, which he, along with the orthopedic surgeon, had worked on not long ago.

"On a scale of-"

"I wouldn't ask him that Gabriel. He threatened to hit me with his bedpan. A dirty one." Castiel interrupted, smirking at the way Gabriel shuddered.

"Don't go threatening my favorite nurse now, Mr. Singer."

Castiel snorted, "If I didn't know any better Gabe, I'd think you wanted something."

Gabriel grinned up at him, finished his own examination and wrote out the order for more morphine before handing the chart back to Castiel, "In fact I do. You and me, drinks after work."

Castiel nodded, more than happy to agree to those terms since they'd been his original plan before being called into work. Dean shifted on the other side of the room, arms crossing over his chest as he leveled a glare at Gabriel. Castiel frowned at Dean, confused at the sudden hostility.

Dean caught Castiel's look and quickly looked away, shifting on his feet. Gabriel continued chatting to Bobby about how long he would need to be in the hospital, unaware of what was happening between Castiel and Dean.

Dean cleared his throat and headed for the door, "Gonna call Sam. I'll be back in a few minutes Bobby."

As soon as Dean was out of the room, Castiel moved to up Bobby's morphine dose. By the time Dean came back into the room, Bobby would be sleeping. Hopefully.

Five minutes later, Gabriel and Castiel were quietly exiting Bobby's room, not wanting to wake him up again.

"Man is going to be a handful," Gabriel grumbled, handing a packet of gummy worms over to Castiel.

Castiel nodded his agreement, stuffed the candy into his pocket for later, "I'll see you later Gabriel. Don't get caught up in surgery, I plan to be drunk by nine."

"You got it."

Gabriel turned and headed down the hallway towards the doctor's lounge and Castiel turned to head back to the nurses' station so he could pick up the rest of his patient charts and do his rounds.

Dean was standing a few feet away, glaring at Gabriel's back.

Castiel frowned again, caught Dean's eye and his frown deepened when Dean blushed, gave a little wave, and disappeared into Bobby's room.

Castiel filed this new peculiarity away under one more thing he would need to figure out about Dean Winchester.

Man was a mystery.

* * *

As soon as his shift was over, Gabriel and Castiel left work and headed to the bar that was in Castiel's neighborhood so Castiel could get as drunk as he wanted. And he wanted to get  _really_ drunk after the day he'd had.

Gabriel had been buying him round after round of strawberry daiquiris and some other god-awful fruity drink. It was free alcohol though, so Castiel didn't turn them down. About an hour ago, those fruity drinks had turned into shots of tequila and Castiel was well on his way to abandoning complete and coherent thought for the night, which he was perfectly okay with.

"Why are we friends, Gabriel?" Castiel's voice was slurred, partially from the alcohol and partially due to the fact that his cheek was smooshed against the table as he twirled his empty shot glass around, watching the lights play through the glass.

"Because I'm awesome?" Gabriel offered, snatching the empty shot glass from Castiel's fingers and replacing it with a full one.

Castiel straightened, downed the shot and wiped something sticky from his cheek.

"Seriously."

"I dunno why Cas, we just are."

"Is it because of the candy? I think it's because of the candy. I like you for your candy Gabe, and that's it!"

Gabriel grinned at him; he'd stopped drinking the strong liquor a few hours ago and had stuck with beer. Castiel felt a little bad, but it was Gabriel's own choice. Not like he would mind if his friend crashed on his couch. Or in Castiel's own bed.

Castiel must have made a face at that thought because Gabriel chuckled, "What's with that constipated look?"

"I just thought about us having sex. I may like you for your candy, Gabriel, but I don't think I could have sex with you."

Gabriel chuckled and reached over the table to pat Castiel's hand, "That's okay, bucko; I view you as a little brother more than anything. Don't think I could have sex with my little brother."

Castiel peered over at Gabriel, eyes wide, "You view me as a little brother?"

"Of course I do, you dolt. I thought we were both in agreement on that one."

Castiel blinked, then grinned over at the doctor, "I'd hug you right now, but I think if I stood up I'd either vomit or face plant. Possibly both."

Gabriel grinned, "Best you stay seated then."

Two shots later and Castiel was blurting, "I don't understand Dean."

"The guy with the nurse phobia?"

Castiel waved his hand, "He's not nursephobic, he was just worried about his brother. But yes that's him."

"What are you doing still talking to him?"

"I don't know. I thought he hated me, but now he won't stop texting me and asking me out for drinks. He made it painfully clear that he wasn't gay! So why the fuck is he acting like he's interested in me?"

Gabriel chuckled and handed another shot of tequila over to Castiel, "Maybe he's confused. You should introduce him to the wonders of gay sex."

Castiel scowled down at the shot in his hand, "I don't want to be someone's experiment, Gabriel. That happened once before and it just ended up in heartbreak for me. I'm tired of dating asshats. I just want to be loved. Why won't anyone love me?"

"You're getting maudlin."

"Oh fuck you."

"Drink up kiddo. We'll find your happily ever after."

Castiel scowled again but downed the shot and the next one that was shoved into his hand, "There's no such thing."

* * *

The next morning Castiel woke in his own bed, naked and with a pounding in his head that could rival the crew of  _Stomp!_. He hoped he was naked for all the right reasons, but the sight of Gabriel standing in the doorway eating Castiel's cheesecake banished that hopeful thought.

"Morning sunshine," Gabriel chirped, shoveling more cheesecake into his mouth.

"Die."

"Your life would be very dull and not complete, if that were to happen."

"Why am I naked?"

"No idea. I think you thought it was a good idea last night. You were probably right though, there's just no saving clothes after they've been drunken vomited on."

"Please stop talking about vomit," Castiel groaned.

"There was also something about texting and Dean last night. You wouldn't shut up about it, especially when you got naked and crawled into bed." Another bit of Castiel's cheesecake disappeared into Gabriel's mouth.

Castiel attempted to aim a scowl in Gabriel's direction, but his room was too bright and he was too intent on searching for his phone amongst his blanket and pillows. His phone found, he glared at Gabriel and thumbed his phone on, flipping to his messages, hoping and praying he hadn't drunk texted Dean last night.

But there they were, several texts.  _Shit_.

_i'm naked_

He did. He totally drunk texted Dean last night, "Fuck."

Gabriel chuckled from the doorway, "You've got it bad dude."

_you should be here_

"Fuck my life."

Castiel knew he should just ignore the rest of the texts, but some sick sense of curiosity had him wondering what else he'd sent to Dean last night.

_your cock would be a good fit for my ass right now_

"Oh my  _God_."

"Sounds like a good time was had by all." Gabriel chuckled again and Castiel had it in his mind to tackle the smug bastard, but he  _was_ naked and that probably would end badly for everyone involved.

_did i mention i'm naked?_

"Fuck, fuck, fuck."

_i look amazing naked or so i've been told_

Castiel glared over at Gabriel again and asked, "Why didn't you take my phone from me last night?"

"Thought you were passed out." Castiel eyed Gabriel doubtfully; Gabriel had probably known full well that Castiel was awake, and was, in his own way, trying to help. Dean would probably never talk to Castiel again though, after he looked at his messages.

 _also been told i take it up the ass like a pro_. The last text caused Castiel to toss his phone aside and pull a pillow over his head, wishing for death or something close to it.

"I'm never drinking again," Castiel mumbled finally.

"S'what they all say."

At least Dean hadn't responded to any of those texts. Could mean Dean had been sleeping like a normal person would be at that time of night. Or maybe they hadn't gone through, or Castiel had sent them to the wrong person.

 _Fuck_ , he'd drunk texted Dean Winchester. He'd never hear from him again and Sam would be warned off. He'd just royally fucked up his pathetic social life because of a few drinks. This is why Gabriel was dangerous; this was why Castiel should never have crushes on straight men.

He really couldn't deal with this shit when his head was pounding like a damn mariachi band had set up camp in there. And certainly not when his stomach was rolling around and his mouth felt like something had died in there.

"Want some cheesecake?" Gabriel asked, plopping down on the bed beside Castiel. There was a meow in response to Castiel's moan and he lifted the blanket enough for Lupe to crawl under it and move down to lay by his feet, purring contently.

"Seriously, die in a fire," Castiel grumbled finally when he felt he wouldn't puke next time he opened his mouth.

Gabriel chuckled again then bounded off the bed when someone knocked on Castiel's front door.

"If it's my sister… I died from alcohol poisoning and it's all your fault!"

"Sure, Cas!"

Castiel rolled onto his stomach and dragged the pillows up over his head to block out the light coming in through the windows. He kicked the sheets down since said light was shining on him like a bitch and it was hot in his room. He vaguely listened for Gabriel and whoever had been at his door. When he didn't hear anything he figured it had been a nosey neighbor making sure Castiel was still alive, since as drunk as he'd been last night he probably hadn't been quiet.

"Hey, Cassie, you've got a guest."

Castiel winced at the nickname and mumbled into his pillow, "Why haven't you died yet?"

"Is that the way to speak to the guy who made sure you didn't fall asleep face down in a puddle of your own puke?" Castiel groaned at that particular image and froze when he heard a very familiar chuckle. Dean was here.

Here in Castiel's apartment, standing in Castiel's bedroom when Castiel was naked and had the sheets rucked down around his waist and absolutely nothing else covering him. After Castiel had drunk texted him, basically telling Dean he'd have liked Dean to be there, fucking him. Dean was  _here_.

Castiel was done with life.  _Over_. Kaput. He could not show his face in public anymore, ever, not after this epic fuckfest. Castiel dragged the pillow from his head and cracked an eye open and turned to look at Dean over his shoulder. Gabriel was still munching on the cheesecake and Dean was staring. Like,  _really_  staring. It made Castiel shiver and resist the urge to roll over, kick the sheet off the rest of the way and throw his legs open in invitation.

He really turned into a whore when he went long periods without sex apparently.

This was not good for his pathetic social life.

Castiel cleared his throat, ignored the smirk Gabriel was shooting him and muttered, "Morning?"

"Afternoon," Dean corrected. Castiel shrugged, rolled over and sat up, making sure the sheet remained firmly in place.

"I'll leave you two to it." Gabriel grinned and turned to disappear to wherever.

"Don't eat all my cheesecake you asshat!" Castiel shouted after him. Gabriel simply laughed and nothing more was said.

"So…" Dean shifted and Castiel hoped the blush burning over his cheeks wasn't visible.

Castiel cleared his throat again, "You mind giving me a minute? I'm kinda… naked?"

Dean snorted and Castiel caught sight of a blush tinting Dean's cheeks pink as he looked away from Castiel and rubbed the back of his neck, "So you mentioned."

Castiel shifted uncomfortably, coughed, "Yeah… uh. Awkward. I'd like to get dressed so… can you gimmie a minute?"

Dean flushed again, eyes skirting over Castiel's chest and Castiel fought that urge to be a complete slut again, then Dean was turning and exiting the room. Castiel sighed and flopped back into his bed, Lupe wiggled out from under the blankets, annoyed at all the moving around going on.

She gave Castiel a baleful glare; he glared back and snapped, "Don't look at me in that tone of voice." Lupe meowed at him in a disappointing manner and leapt off the bed and left the room in an indignant huff.

Cats.

* * *

By the time Castiel felt remotely human enough to show his face; Gabriel had eaten all his cheesecake and vacated the premises. A smart move on his part as Castiel would have hit him for finishing the cheesecake Castiel himself had been looking forward to eating.

Castiel scowled at the empty box resting on his kitchen counter, and went about making himself a cup of coffee and feeding Lupe before she ended up killing him by tripping him.

"That cat is a menace," Dean said from the kitchen doorway, watching as Castiel sidestepped her again.

"I wouldn't have her any other way." Castiel muttered, bending and picking up the black ball of fluff. She meowed, annoyed about being manhandled, but settled and calmed when he cradled her like she was an infant. She began purring when he rubbed her exposed belly and her yellow eyes half-closed.

Dean chuckled and moved to stand in front of Castiel, reaching out to pet the cat's head while Castiel muttered, "I found her abandoned in an alleyway. She was severely malnourished and dehydrated—pretty much just skin and bones. I took her to a vet since she was only about four weeks old; they told me she wouldn't make it through the night and would do their best to make her comfortable."

Dean snorted and Castiel nodded, running his fingers through Lupe's long fur.

"It kind of annoyed me that they weren't going to try. They just assumed she was going to die. So I brought her home, 'borrowed' some supplies from the hospital and nursed her back to health myself."

Dean smiled, fingers scratching through the shorter fur on the cat's head, "That's pretty awesome of you."

"Everyone and everything deserves a chance to fight," Castiel muttered, patting Lupe on the butt before dropping her back to the ground. She glared up at him but did her weird _mrumpf_ sound when he placed her bowl of food onto the floor.

Dean stepped towards the coffee machine, which had stopped its burbling, and found two cups to pour the coffee into. Castiel watched him for a moment before finally asking, "So… why are you here?"

"Um… saw your texts from last night." Castiel coughed, grabbed his cup of coffee and turned away from Dean, hoping to hide the reddening of his face.

"Sam somehow convinced me to come and talk to you about it. I didn't think there was anything to talk about."

Castiel coughed again, sipped his coffee and muttered, "Right."

"There's nothing to talk about… right?" Castiel looked over his shoulder at Dean who was giving him a contemplative look. Castiel just wanted to blurt everything out: how much he actually liked Dean, how he wanted to date and fuck and live together and get a puppy. Castiel hadn't had feelings like that for a very long time and Dean was just bringing them all out of him. It was dangerous, especially since Dean probably didn't feel like that. How could he? He was straight for crying out loud.

"Absolutely nothing," Castiel mumbled instead, "I was… spectacularly drunk last night."

"Figured." Dean fidgeted a little, cleared his throat and asked, "Want to go out and get some breakfast then?"

"Don't you mean lunch?"

"Denny's dude. Best cure for a hangover."

Castiel knew he shouldn't. Should spare himself the inevitable heartbreak that would come from liking Dean in this way. Dean would one day find a nice woman and marry her and Castiel would just be… something. A friend maybe, Castiel didn't know. He'd be the man on the sidelines wishing he could have what he couldn't, that's what.

He knew he shouldn't, but he smiled and nodded, "Sounds good."

* * *

Castiel tried to ignore Jess' staring and continue working on entering patient information into the computer.

Finally he'd had enough. He spun his chair around and gripped the arms of Jess' making sure to keep her facing him, "Okay,  _what_ Jess?"

"Sam told me you and Dean went on a date the other day."

Castiel sighed and released her chair, "It wasn't a date."

"Sounded like one. He took you out for lunch, paid for it, and you two sat around talking for a few hours."

Well, put like that.

"It wasn't a date. I was hungover. He was… feeding me."

"What, are you his dog now?"

Castiel glared at Jess' smile, "Don't you have patients that need tending Jessica?"

"It's two in the morning; no patients are awake." Castiel sighed, then grinned when one of the patients hit the call button.

"Mr. Singer needs some attention."

Jess' eyes widened, "No way! Mr. Singer hates everyone! Plus he's  _your_ patient!"

Castiel pointed his pen at her, grinning, "I'm charge nurse tonight. You have to do what I say, if I switch the patients around then tough shit. Now go see what he needs."

"But you're  _always_  charge nurse." Jess was practically whining now. Castiel couldn't help but grin.

"Then you take that up with Ellen. Personally, I'd like a break from being charge, but Ellen has decided it's me or Anna, and Anna and I have been put on different schedules."

Jess sighed then reluctantly pulled herself up from the chair and slowly made her way down the hall towards Bobby's room. Castiel's grin vanished when Ruby took up Jess' seat and asked, "So, you gotten laid yet Novak? Heard you had a new boy toy."

Castiel shot out of his chair, "Jess, I'll do it. You chart." Jess grinned and returned to the nurses' station while Castiel continued down to Bobby's room. He'd have to think of a way to get back at Jess and her big mouth. He didn't need it circulating around the floor that Castiel had finally gotten himself a new boyfriend. Especially to Becky and Chuck's ears. He'd _never_ hear the end of it then.

He stepped into Bobby's room and the first thing the other man had to say was, "Since you're dating Dean now, does that mean I have to be nice to you? Or will you go crying to your boyfriend?"

Castiel smacked his hand to his forehead. He was going to kill both Sam and Jess for their big mouths.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait, real life and all. Finals are merciless, especially when they're all scheduled to be on the same day. Uck.
> 
> Anyway. Sorry. Here's a chapter. Next one will be up soon.

After the breakfast, or lunch, he'd had with Dean, they'd agreed to do it at least once a week. According to Dean he didn't have many friends, and going out to lunch was something friends did right? Castiel agreed to it because he liked seeing someone that he also didn't see at work. Plus there was that little part of him that liked to suffer and pine after Dean at every available chance.

Sometimes Castiel just wondered if he liked punishing himself. He'd just gotten off work and had agreed to meet Dean for their breakfast/lunch  _whatever_. This time though, Rachel had insisted on joining them, at eight months pregnant Castiel couldn't find it in himself to deny her anything. Especially when he'd been extraordinarily busy at work the night before and all he wanted to do was go to bed and sleep for a year.

"So, where is this dream man of yours?" Rachel muttered, glaring at her orange juice.

Castiel eyed her, ignored her jab, "What did the orange juice ever do to you?"

"It's not coffee, that's what it's done to me."

"You know you're not allowed coffee." Castiel mumbled, pulling his own cup of coffee closer in case she tried to steal it from him. Most family members were smart enough to know not to steal Castiel's coffee unless you wanted some serious hurt brought down on your head. Raphael had learned that lesson the hard way—not that Castiel was complaining. Throwing a cup of scalding hot coffee all over his elder brother's lap was one of his fonder memories of home.

Rachel, though, with her pregnancy hormones swinging everywhere, would probably find it okay to steal Castiel's coffee, punishment be damned.

Rachel snorted at Castiel's defensive posturing before sipping her orange juice and looking around the diner, "You didn't answer my question."

"I look like a freakin' GPS device to you? I don't know where he is."

Rachel huffed, sipped her juice again and calmly asked, "So when are you going to ask him out?"

Castiel choked on his coffee then glared over at his sister, "Never? He's straight."

"Doubt it."

"Rachel..."

"Seriously, it's like he's been dating you these last couple months. He's always texting you, always asking you to go out with him and now you two have started up this weekly brunch thing. The guy is totally into you, Cas."

Castiel sighed, rolled his eyes up to the ceiling and asked for the continued patience to deal with his sister, "Seriously, Rachel. The man is straight and set in his ways."

"You ever gonna try? Give him a chance?"

"I'm not going to be someone's experiment. Surely you remember how that ended up for me last time?"

Rachel sighed then rolled her eyes at him when Castiel perked up like a Labrador when he spotted Dean coming into the diner. Castiel honestly didn't know what it was about Dean that brought all these annoying feelings to the surface; feelings Castiel had worked hard to keep buried and hidden amongst his one-night stands and flings. Feelings that left him open and vulnerable to the pain of being left behind and heartbroken. Dean made him want to have something more again, and wasn't that just the kicker.

"You're so smitten." Rachel muttered, smiling at Dean as he slid into the booth across from them. They had met briefly when they'd all gone to the beach those months ago, but Dean had been stuck in the backseat listening to Becky talk about gay sex instead of being introduced to Castiel's younger sister. Rachel, for some reason, had insisted on joining the two of them; Castiel just hoped she didn't launch into her 'I love my big brother very much and if you hurt him I'll rip you to shreds' speech.

He'd heard it enough times and there had yet to be any shredding taking place.

"Sorry I'm late. Sammy was being a bitch."

Castiel smiled at him and pushed an empty coffee cup towards him, "No problem. Uh, not sure if you remember, but this is my little sister Rachel. She wanted to come along today."

"Yeah I remember. You look ready to pop now, though." Dean smiled at her and shook her hand when Rachel held it out.

Rachel gave him the stink eye for a moment before smiling, "Yeah, eight months. I'm ready to have this damn kid already."

Dean snorted. Castiel elbowed her in the side and they all ordered their breakfasts when the waitress finally approached their table. They fell into a comfortable silence, Castiel and Dean making up their coffee how they liked it (Dean: cream with no sugar; while Castiel "destroyed his with cream and sugar," according to Dean anyway).

"So, you're the guy making Cassie go all a flutter, huh?" Rachel blurted, watching with raised eyebrows as Dean handed Castiel the amount of sugar packets Castiel liked to pour into his coffee.

Castiel felt himself blush, then he glared over at Rachel and elbowed her side again, "Ignore Rachel, the baby seems to have destroyed all higher brain function."

"At least I've been-"

"Complete that sentence at your own peril," Castiel growled, glaring again. Rachel smiled sweetly and they all turned their attention to the food when it was brought over.

"So, how was work Cas?" Dean asked finally, mouth full of scrambled eggs.

"Busy. We were short staffed and one of my patients kept coding."

"Damn, that sucks."

Castiel grunted his agreement and shoveled more pancakes into his mouth since he was just as hungry as he was exhausted. It took him a moment to remember he hadn't eaten since before he'd gone into work last night. He'd been too busy to take his dinner break the night before; something that was frowned upon, but not something he could help. He'd barely had time to pee, for crying out loud.

Castiel fended Rachel off when she attempted to steal his hash browns and Dean asked, "Everything okay with that patient?"

"They were stable when I left this morning. I'll find out more tomorrow night when I go back."

"Cassie is awesome at his job; he wouldn't let anything happen to them!" Castiel rolled his eyes at Rachel, slapped her hand away when it tried to steal his hash browns again and tried to keep his blush from spreading when he caught sight of Dean grinning at him from across the table.

Rachel chuckled, kissed Castiel's cheek, "Well, I'm out of here. Leave you two to it. I'll come by later Cas."

Castiel eyed her suspiciously before nodding, "I'll probably be sleeping, so either be quiet when you invade my bed or just don't bother me until I wake from natural causes." Rachel grinned at him, kissed his cheek again and hauled herself out of the booth and waddled out of the diner.

"Well she's subtle," Dean muttered, the two of them watching as she paused by the window they were sitting at to wink before heading off again. Castiel turned his glare over at Dean who grinned innocently over at him.

They fell into silence after that, sipping their coffee and pushing the remains of their breakfasts on their plates. Despite how tired Castiel was, he didn't really want to leave Dean's company. He always enjoyed being around Dean, even if they sometimes bickered and fought over the stupidest shit.

"How did you know you were gay?" Dean blurted out suddenly. Castiel blinked, coffee cup frozen halfway to his mouth.

"Um, what?"

"How did you know you were gay?"

Castiel sighed, took a sip of coffee and lowered the cup back to the table, "I don't see myself as gay. Don't see myself as anything really. I like who I like, regardless of gender."

Dean hummed, brow furrowed in concentration.

Castiel eyed him for a moment before saying, "When I was younger I was strictly into girls. Didn't even look or think about guys like that. Then came along Nick, and suddenly I was looking at this guy and feeling attracted to him and only him. No other guys really did it for me. I kind of figured it out from there. I like who I like. Not because of what's on the outside, but what's on the inside. Labels don't really mean anything to me. I think they're ridiculous."

"That's a good philosophy." Dean muttered, eyes focused on Castiel before he turned his attention elsewhere.

"I like to think so. Meet a lot of interesting people that way."

"I bet." Castiel looked back to Dean, something in the tone of his voice that Castiel couldn't put a name to and found Dean staring. Very intently.

"What?"

"I... think... I kind of like you."

Castiel's heart stuttered in his chest. He wanted nothing more than to throw himself across the table and kiss Dean breathless, instead he simply said, "Oh."

"And it's just you," Dean carried on, acting like he hadn't heard Castiel. "I've looked at other guys, thinking maybe this is something I missed when I was growing up, but it's only you that gets to me."

"I see."

"So, I don't know. I feel like an idiot. Like we're back in elementary school or some shit. Check yes or no if you like me. I like  _girls_ and you clearly aren't a girl."

Castiel didn't really know what to say. "Clearly."

Dean nodded, cleared his throat and looked out the window, "Well there you go. Now you know."

Castiel nodded, sighed, and muttered, "Well, I like you too, Dean. So you know." Castiel looked away, feeling his face turning a brilliant red.

"Oh yeah?" And  _God_  did Dean sound ten kinds of hopeful. Castiel kept his gaze down, not wanting to look up because if he got caught in that hopeful look there was no stopping what Castiel would do. He'd probably crawl under the table and blow Dean in thanks.

"Yes, but like you said Dean, you like women. Obviously, I'm not a woman. That might prove to be a problem."

"Well..." Dean hesitated and Castiel finally looked up to see Dean fidgeting with his coffee cup, gaze firmly on the cooling liquid held within, "I'd be willing to try something," Castiel jerked, nearly knocking his own coffee cup off the table in his shock. That had been the last thing he'd been expecting to hear from Dean, "Maybe... fuck I feel like such a  _girl_ talking about this."

Castiel wanted nothing more than to say yes, to just dive right in and give this a shot like he knew he should. The small part inside of him, though, that had been burned repeatedly, that was screaming at him that he'd already taken too many chances, suffered enough heartbreak made him say, "I don't know Dean. I've been in this kind of situation before and it didn't exactly work out for me. So you need to be sure. Like, really, really sure that this is something you want to do."

Dean stared at him, sucked on his bottom lip before asking, "So how do I prove it to you?"

Castiel blinked, it felt like his heart was in his throat and his stomach was in his feet. How was he even supposed to respond to that?

"I…"

"Cas?"

Castiel slowly stood from the table, hesitated then muttered, "I should go."

"What? Wait…"

"I can't…"

He turned and headed for the door, ignoring Dean's confused protests. Castiel was in his car and heading for home before he realized what had happened. He had panicked and fled. Part of him was regretting the decision while the other told him he'd done the right thing. The look on Dean's face, however…

If it was the right thing to do, why did he feel so wrong?

* * *

Castiel tried not to fidget under Sam Winchester's stare. He knew accepting Sam's request for coffee had been a bad idea, especially after how Castiel had left Dean in the diner the week before.

Sam calmly stirred his coffee, never removing his gaze from Castiel. It made Castiel want to squirm in his seat, it brought back memories of his father and Michael staring at him in the same way when he'd announced his intentions to go to nursing school instead.

"I know Dean doesn't seem like the best guy. He drinks too much, he sleeps around too much and is allergic to feelings. But he is a good guy."

"I know he is, Sam."

"He's loyal. Once he makes up his mind on something, when he wants something bad enough, he won't stop. He'd never let you go, Cas."

Castiel swallowed and stared miserably into his own coffee. He knew he shouldn't have run off like he had, but he'd panicked. Was  _still_  panicking. He wanted Dean, had wanted him for a long time, and now that it was a possibility, he was scared.

"I just... panicked is all. I was, I  _am_  scared."

"You're not the only one. You think after only wanting women for his whole life and suddenly wanting a man is easy for Dean? He took a chance and you kind of threw it back in his face. Despite that, he  _is_  willing to give you another shot. You just have to man up enough to go for it."

Castiel sighed and stared miserably up at Sam. Sam smiled, reached across the table and patted Cas' hand, "I like you Cas. You're a good friend now and I think you'd be good for Dean. So go home, get some rest and go after him. I know you want to."

Castiel gave Sam a weak smile, "Thanks, Sam."

"Like I said, you're a good friend. You hurt my brother again, though, and I will murder you."

Castiel nodded and Sam stood, gave Cas a pat on the shoulder and walked off down the street. Castiel sighed and swallowed down the last of his now cold coffee and headed home.

He had some thinking to do.

* * *

After fleeing from the diner like a coward, after his talk with Sam, after having thrown himself in his job for the last week, Castiel was sprawled on his couch, a large bag of peanut M&M's resting on his stomach. He had no idea what to do with himself, he'd ignored the texts from Dean and the calls from his sister, Lupe was even giving him unimpressed looks. Castiel knew he should just get over himself, go to Dean and tell him, yes, he wanted to try. He wanted to be everything Dean needed, wanted to prove to himself and to Dean that neither of them had to hurt again to be happy.

The fact that Dean was actually willing to try, was willing to prove it to Castiel that he was in this, should have been answer enough for Castiel. Running out on someone he knows has commitment issues probably wasn't his brightest idea. He'd probably fucked over his chance with Dean with that brilliant little move.

He was scared, though; emotions that had been tamped down and ignored for years were back and raring to go. Castiel didn't know what to do with himself.

Which was why he was sprawled out on his couch eating junk food when he should have been sleeping.

"Fuck my life."

He really shouldn't have left. Should have given Dean the chance, should have taken the risk. Castiel's life was turning out to be one giant 'should have' and he'd most likely ruined his one chance to  _have_  something.

The front door to his apartment opened and Gabriel slipped through, shutting and locking the door before moving to stand in front of Castiel.

"I should kill you for eating my cheesecake."

Gabriel ignored him, snagged some M&Ms from the bag still sitting on Castiel's stomach, "Your sister called me."

"Good for her."

"Figured you and Winchester would be fucking like bunnies by now."

Castiel sighed, shoved the bag off his stomach and sat up, "I fucked it up Gabe."

"It can be fixed."

"Really?"

"Yes, really."

"How do you know?"

"Because Winchester is sitting out in the parking lot as we speak, looking like he's been trying to gather his courage for a while now." Castiel blinked up at Gabriel who smirked and nodded.

Castiel sighed, stood and shoved his shoes back onto his feet and headed for the parking lot, not caring that he was still dressed in his wrinkled and dirty scrubs. If Dean was here, Castiel could at least meet him halfway.

Sure enough, Dean was sitting in the Impala, parked next to Castiel's Audi. His hands were clenched around the steering wheel and his eyes were closed so he didn't see Castiel approaching. Which was all and well, since Castiel took a small amount of joy in seeing Dean jump several inches when Castiel let himself into the passenger seat.

"Cas-"

Castiel held up a hand, cutting Dean off. He settled himself into the seat, sighed and muttered, "I shouldn't have bolted off like that, or ignored you. I'm sorry. You're probably as freaked out as I am."

Dean snorted and nodded.

"I, uh… I've been thinking that uh, well…" Castiel sighed and ran a hand through his hair, tugging a little to try and bring his thoughts to order.

"I told you awhile back that everyone and everything deserves a fighting chance. It was selfish of me to not give you that chance. If you're still willing to try Dean, I am too. I don't want to live a life of should haves and wondering what could have been."

Castiel folded his hands into his lap and closed his eyes, waiting to either be kicked out or… or something. He didn't know.

He jumped when he felt Dean take hold of one of his hands and looked over at Dean, smiling a little when Dean squeezed his hand.

"Thanks Cas, for giving me a chance. Not many people do."

Castiel returned the squeeze, smiled and whispered, "You definitely deserve it."


	6. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm a horrible person, I know.
> 
> I completely forgot I had a little epilogue to add to the end.
> 
> But here it is! And now it's all finished!
> 
> Huzzah!
> 
> Hope it was enjoyable.

Castiel stared down at the bundle in his arms; he'd been a little wary to how he would react when Rachel finally gave birth, but right now Balthazar and everything connected to him was forgotten. He was an uncle, he would forgive anything right now, and he already had.

He'd still kick Balthazar's ass for good measure though, if he ever saw him again.

"I'm never going to get him back am I?" Rachel asked quietly, grinning despite the fact that she may never see her son again.

Castiel grinned again and shook his head, "Nope, there will be reports of a baby napping later, I assure you. I have access to the nursery, too… just you wait." He didn't care how ridiculous he looked standing there in his sister's hospital room, holding his nephew and cooing down at him with the biggest, dorkiest smile on his face.

"Hand him back, Cas."

"No."

"Cas."

"He's my namesake; I'm allowed to hold him for however long I want to." Castiel grumbled, tucking the blue blanket in around the small body.

"He's not your namesake."

"Totally my namesake. My middle name is James, you named him James. So fuck off, he's my namesake."

Rachel rolled her eyes and Dean approached, settling a hand on Castiel's shoulder, "Don't you have to go back to work?"

Castiel sighed, nodded and very reluctantly handed his nephew back to his sister. He'd been running back and forth from the Med/Surg floor to the Labor and Delivery floor ever since Rachel had called to tell him she'd gone into labor.

Safe to say, Castiel had been driving everyone insane.

Sam and Jess had stopped by earlier to offer up their congratulations before leaving again. There'd been a steady stream of nurses and doctors in to see Castiel's new nephew as well. Castiel almost felt like a proud father, which was maybe a little awkward; not that he cared.

Dean squeezed his shoulder then muttered, "Don't tell me you're going to want one of your own now."

Castiel snorted, "God no. I barely have time to feed Lupe. I will settle for babysitting as often as possible, though."

"Cas, I think Jimmy and I here will become a permanent fixture in your apartment, have no doubt." Rachel muttered, yawning mightily as Jimmy was taken from her and wheeled out to be placed with the other babies.

Castiel smiled and stepped forward to kiss Rachel's forehead, "You know you're welcome there whenever you need to. You should get some rest though, and I really do need to get back to work before Ellen decides to skin me alive."

Rachel smiled sleepily up at him, "Thanks for forgiving me Cas. Don't think I'd be able to do this without you."

"You're my sister, of course I forgive you. Get some sleep. I'll see you in the morning." Rachel nodded and promptly drifted off to sleep. Castiel smiled, tucked the blankets in around her before joining Dean out in the hallway.

"So uncle, huh?"

"It would seem so." Castiel looped his arm through Dean's and they headed for the elevators at the end of the hallway so Castiel could get back to work and Dean could head back to his own apartment.

"So, I've been thinking." Dean said as they waited.

"I hope you didn't strain anything."

"Oh, fuck you. You want to hear it or not?" Castiel waved his free hand, indicating Dean carry on.

"Anyway, I've been thinking. Sam is moving in with Jess, now that he's done with law school, and my lease is almost up."

Castiel had a faint idea as to where this was going, "Uh-huh."

"And, uh, I know we've only been officially dating for like a month and a half, but we've known each other for longer than that."

"Yes."

"So, I was wondering if... well, I spend most of my free time over at your place anyway, so…" Dean sighed and trailed off as the elevator doors dinged open.

Castiel tugged him back as he took a step forward though and whispered, "I'd love for you to move in with me Dean."

Dean grinned at him, eyes bright and hopeful, "Yeah?"

Castiel swallowed his own fears, his own insecurities and returned the grin, "Yeah."

Dean stared at him for a brief moment before smirking and leaning forward to whisper in Castiel's ear, "You know… there's a supply closet down the hall."

"This isn't that medical show you're addicted to, Dean." Castiel mumbled, leaning into Dean's warmth, his own smirk in place.

"Firstly, I'm not addicted to it; sometimes it's just the only thing on. Secondly… you look really hot in your scrubs?"

Castiel snorted, grabbed Dean's hand and tugged him down the hallway, "I can maybe squeeze out another fifteen minutes before I have to go back, so you'll have to be quick."

Dean smirked, shoving Castiel in through the open supply closet door, "Think I can work with that."


End file.
